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More gaming humour --
RPGs and Shit:
GURPS: You can represent shit with a bell curve.
AD&D: More shit than in any other product line.
Vampire: Shit hides in deep, dark places.
Werewolf: Better shit than pollution!
Mage: Shit is relative; it's all in how you look at it.
Castle Falkenstein: This shit is steaming.
Over the Edge: What kind of weird shit is this?
Theatrix: Shit happens 'cause it's in the script.
Call of Cthulhu: Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
HOL: Everything is shit.
Psychosis: This shit ain't happening, man!
Magic: The Gathering: Our shit is worth more than your house.
Vampire: The Eternal Struggle: Same shit, different name.
(feel free to add your own, or correct mine if yours are funnier :)
Fred Bush
fbush1@cc.swarthmore.edu Dream. Imagine. Wonder.
Swarthmore, PA
From: gcgst1+@pitt.edu (Geoffrey C Grabowski)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: 5 Oct 1995 17:32:01 GMT
References:
Ars Magica - Is that shit in paradigm? Better spend some time in the lab checking.
Everway - The physical of relief of relief from solid waste expulsion urges happens.
Shadowrun - Shit happens, but we invent silly slang to describe it.
Shadowrun (1st ed.) - shit happens, but nobody cares, because it can't penetrate your t-shirt.
Cyberpunk 2020 - Shit happens, and we write corny songs about it. Say no to drugs.
Whispering Vault- Shit happens, usually by bursting through your eyes.
AD&D - Shit is a copyright of TSR. You're not allowed to talk about it where more than two people can hear, "or else". You'll have to get the Complete Defecation Handbook to find out how.
Nephilim - Shit happened, but not if I have anything to say about it.
Aria - Defecation and the Rites and minor Rituals involved with Defecation and the subsequent Cleansing of the hands or body are important Aspects of a Milieu...
Mutant Chronicles - Bleak shit happens.
Vampire - Shit happens. Oh, the angst!
Werewolf - Shit happens. Make a Rage check.
Mage - Shit might happen. I'm not sure. Can you figure this part out, Bob?
Wraith - Shit doesn't happen, because that might leave a hook to hang a game around.
Earthdawn - Shit probably happens, but the rules for it are in nine different sourcebooks, so I'm not sure.
Over the Edge - Shit happens. Sometimes you eat it.
WFRP - Shit happens. Check for possible chaos attributes.
Empire of the Petal Throne - Shit happens, but you need to learn another language to figure out how.
Rolemaster - E Shit Critical Tables, excerpted from Companion XVIII: Shit has happened, blinding the poor unfortunate permanently, breaking both their arms, and stunning them for 27 rounds. They expire in a miserable
heap 6 rounds later. Pity, that.
Dragonquest - Shit happens, see 20.4.3
Rifts - Oh yeah, my shit has more MDC than you do (it still doesn't do more than 3d6x10 though).
Dark Conspiracy - Shit happens, but you barely notice, since you're tougher than most armored cars.
G.
--
|Geoffrey C. Grabowski|gcgst1+@pitt.edu|Undergrad, U.Pittsburgh|Swing Heil!|
[O] "Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair.
[O] Deal out jacks or better on a blanket by the stairs.
[O] I tell you all my secrets but I lie about my past."
From: htp@hepax6 (H.T. Phillips)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: 4 Oct 95 12:51:58 GMT
Space 1889: Human excreta, by Jove! (Lady Elizabeth faints).
Aria: A member of the refush cluster with an aspect of gas emission (malodorous)
--
%! Hywel T. Phillips ! Rutherford Appleton Laboratory ! _ _ !
%! ! and DELPHI experiment, CERN ! e+ e- -> f f f f !
%! H.T.Phillips@RL.AC.UK HTP@VXCERN.CERN.CH !
%! Speaking personally, not for RAL or DELPHI !
From: jdmarquart@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu (Cheese)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: 6 Oct 95 11:00:07 -0500
In article , fbush1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Frederic Bush) writes:
> With fond memories of the "shit happens" religion t-shirts...
>
>
> RPGS AND SHIT
(snip original message —Ed.)
Paranoia:
DC Heroes: This looks like a job for... Supershit.
--
"It must be weird not having someone come on you."
-Al Torre (Robert Davi) from 'Showgirls'.
Cheese says "It's like Fame, Flashdance, Rambo, and Mortal Kombat... with tits."
Joshua Marquart (aka Cheese) --- jdmarquart@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu
See Cheese's Homepage at http://www.muohio.edu/~jdmarquart
From: dkelly@acpub.duke.edu (Cambias)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: Wed, 04 Oct 1995 12:06:44 -0400
Champions/Hero: 1D6 NND Stun-only area-effect physical energy blast (shit)
Rolemaster: See shit table
Paranoia: That shit's classified
Cambias
Taking a Break From Propriety
From: durrell@shellx.best.com (Bryant Durrell)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: 9 Oct 1995 14:34:18 -0700
Pandemonium: "I want you to get a picture of that shit for the front page!"
Nexus: It was shit in Angel City...
Nightlife: Splattershit!
--
Bryant Durrell http://www.innocence.com/ durrell@innocence.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
LEARNING, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
-- Ambrose Bierce
From: darious@Rt66.com (Allan Seyberth)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: Tue, 10 Oct 95 18:21:55 GMT
Amber: Sh*t happens, but tell us a story about it.
Allan Seyberth
Darious@rt66.com
"You see me now, a veteran, of a thousand flaming wars..."
From: d95jal@efd.lth.se (Jens Alm)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: 9 Oct 1995 11:51:08 GMT
A small correction of my previous posting. It should of course be:
Shadowrun: Dreck happens, then you frag it, chummer.
--
Jens Alm
d95jal@efd.lth.se
| DISCLAIMER: I do not represent the | URL: http//efd.lth.se/~d95jal |
| alien civilization in which I was | |
| raised. They have far more | Do not take anything I say seriously |
| efficient ways of communication | as it springs from divine madness |
From: frankie@mundens.southern.co.nz (Frank Pitt)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: Tue, 17 Oct 95 06:31:19 GMT
In article berg@eskimo.com writes:
> I only got one, but it's one I firmly believe in:
>
> AFTERMATH: This may be shit, but it's too confusing to be sure.
Nah,
Aftermath : Shit happened, now survive it.
or
Aftermath : Shit happened, and it will provide 0.4 sustenance points or a 0.6 methane production capacity
RPGs and Shit:
GURPS: You can represent shit with a bell curve.
AD&D: More shit than in any other product line.
Vampire: Shit hides in deep, dark places.
Werewolf: Better shit than pollution!
Mage: Shit is relative; it's all in how you look at it.
Castle Falkenstein: This shit is steaming.
Over the Edge: What kind of weird shit is this?
Theatrix: Shit happens 'cause it's in the script.
Call of Cthulhu: Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
HOL: Everything is shit.
Psychosis: This shit ain't happening, man!
Magic: The Gathering: Our shit is worth more than your house.
Vampire: The Eternal Struggle: Same shit, different name.
(feel free to add your own, or correct mine if yours are funnier :)
Fred Bush
fbush1@cc.swarthmore.edu Dream. Imagine. Wonder.
Swarthmore, PA
From: gcgst1+@pitt.edu (Geoffrey C Grabowski)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: 5 Oct 1995 17:32:01 GMT
References:
Ars Magica - Is that shit in paradigm? Better spend some time in the lab checking.
Everway - The physical of relief of relief from solid waste expulsion urges happens.
Shadowrun - Shit happens, but we invent silly slang to describe it.
Shadowrun (1st ed.) - shit happens, but nobody cares, because it can't penetrate your t-shirt.
Cyberpunk 2020 - Shit happens, and we write corny songs about it. Say no to drugs.
Whispering Vault- Shit happens, usually by bursting through your eyes.
AD&D - Shit is a copyright of TSR. You're not allowed to talk about it where more than two people can hear, "or else". You'll have to get the Complete Defecation Handbook to find out how.
Nephilim - Shit happened, but not if I have anything to say about it.
Aria - Defecation and the Rites and minor Rituals involved with Defecation and the subsequent Cleansing of the hands or body are important Aspects of a Milieu...
Mutant Chronicles - Bleak shit happens.
Vampire - Shit happens. Oh, the angst!
Werewolf - Shit happens. Make a Rage check.
Mage - Shit might happen. I'm not sure. Can you figure this part out, Bob?
Wraith - Shit doesn't happen, because that might leave a hook to hang a game around.
Earthdawn - Shit probably happens, but the rules for it are in nine different sourcebooks, so I'm not sure.
Over the Edge - Shit happens. Sometimes you eat it.
WFRP - Shit happens. Check for possible chaos attributes.
Empire of the Petal Throne - Shit happens, but you need to learn another language to figure out how.
Rolemaster - E Shit Critical Tables, excerpted from Companion XVIII: Shit has happened, blinding the poor unfortunate permanently, breaking both their arms, and stunning them for 27 rounds. They expire in a miserable
heap 6 rounds later. Pity, that.
Dragonquest - Shit happens, see 20.4.3
Rifts - Oh yeah, my shit has more MDC than you do (it still doesn't do more than 3d6x10 though).
Dark Conspiracy - Shit happens, but you barely notice, since you're tougher than most armored cars.
G.
--
|Geoffrey C. Grabowski|gcgst1+@pitt.edu|Undergrad, U.Pittsburgh|Swing Heil!|
[O] "Let me fall out of the window with confetti in my hair.
[O] Deal out jacks or better on a blanket by the stairs.
[O] I tell you all my secrets but I lie about my past."
From: htp@hepax6 (H.T. Phillips)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: 4 Oct 95 12:51:58 GMT
Space 1889: Human excreta, by Jove! (Lady Elizabeth faints).
Aria: A member of the refush cluster with an aspect of gas emission (malodorous)
--
%! Hywel T. Phillips ! Rutherford Appleton Laboratory ! _ _ !
%! ! and DELPHI experiment, CERN ! e+ e- -> f f f f !
%! H.T.Phillips@RL.AC.UK HTP@VXCERN.CERN.CH !
%! Speaking personally, not for RAL or DELPHI !
From: jdmarquart@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu (Cheese)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: 6 Oct 95 11:00:07 -0500
In article , fbush1@cc.swarthmore.edu (Frederic Bush) writes:
> With fond memories of the "shit happens" religion t-shirts...
>
>
> RPGS AND SHIT
(snip original message —Ed.)
Paranoia:
DC Heroes: This looks like a job for... Supershit.
--
"It must be weird not having someone come on you."
-Al Torre (Robert Davi) from 'Showgirls'.
Cheese says "It's like Fame, Flashdance, Rambo, and Mortal Kombat... with tits."
Joshua Marquart (aka Cheese) --- jdmarquart@miavx1.acs.muohio.edu
See Cheese's Homepage at http://www.muohio.edu/~jdmarquart
From: dkelly@acpub.duke.edu (Cambias)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: Wed, 04 Oct 1995 12:06:44 -0400
Champions/Hero: 1D6 NND Stun-only area-effect physical energy blast (shit)
Rolemaster: See shit table
Paranoia: That shit's classified
Cambias
Taking a Break From Propriety
From: durrell@shellx.best.com (Bryant Durrell)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: 9 Oct 1995 14:34:18 -0700
Pandemonium: "I want you to get a picture of that shit for the front page!"
Nexus: It was shit in Angel City...
Nightlife: Splattershit!
--
Bryant Durrell http://www.innocence.com/ durrell@innocence.com
------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----
LEARNING, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
-- Ambrose Bierce
From: darious@Rt66.com (Allan Seyberth)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: Tue, 10 Oct 95 18:21:55 GMT
Amber: Sh*t happens, but tell us a story about it.
Allan Seyberth
Darious@rt66.com
"You see me now, a veteran, of a thousand flaming wars..."
From: d95jal@efd.lth.se (Jens Alm)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: 9 Oct 1995 11:51:08 GMT
A small correction of my previous posting. It should of course be:
Shadowrun: Dreck happens, then you frag it, chummer.
--
Jens Alm
d95jal@efd.lth.se
| DISCLAIMER: I do not represent the | URL: http//efd.lth.se/~d95jal |
| alien civilization in which I was | |
| raised. They have far more | Do not take anything I say seriously |
| efficient ways of communication | as it springs from divine madness |
From: frankie@mundens.southern.co.nz (Frank Pitt)
Newsgroups: rec.games.frp.misc
Subject: Re: Sh*t happens...
Date: Tue, 17 Oct 95 06:31:19 GMT
In article berg@eskimo.com writes:
> I only got one, but it's one I firmly believe in:
>
> AFTERMATH: This may be shit, but it's too confusing to be sure.
Nah,
Aftermath : Shit happened, now survive it.
or
Aftermath : Shit happened, and it will provide 0.4 sustenance points or a 0.6 methane production capacity
